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ILiLkyoOteI
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Name:
Country: United States
State: New Jersey
Metro: Jersey City
Birthday: 12/7/1986
Interests: DANCiN`
Expertise: DANCiN` n bein` me
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM: 
lilkyoOtepijc
Member Since:
6/4/2002
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Monday, May 28, 2007tale of a cold heart
afraid to fall, fall in love that is
i ain't been nothing more then a
piece of meat to countless men
it breaks me down. i am smart
i am kind
i am beautiful... i am me.
i cry, because my heart is cold
no room for love of any kind
i am cold, i don't mean to be
i've been through alot of shit
i wanna scream.. i want to love!
but i can't
i hurt inside because i am afraid of love
afraid to let myself fall for you
i want to feel your touch
but i can't let go of what kills me inside
the coldness in my heart
i am broken, i am tainted
and boy do i want you
to feel your love would make me feel alive again
to feel your kiss would enlighten my soul
to be yours would dead this cold i have inside
i love you and i need you
and i knew it from when i first saw you
i knew you were who i wanted to be with
forever, my heart, my soul, my man
but for now i just sit back and watch you live your life
while my
heart
turns
into...
ice.
ahh i havent written in ages.. but i am sad and i am lonely. i can't express what i really feel though.. i have been under a lot the last few years.. and i'm just getting more and more bitter. god i wish there was a way for me to turn back time.. to change so many things. i would. i just want normalcy back in my life. i want to go home and sleep in my own bed. i want to go home and see my mommy everyday. i want to go home and see THEM. i miss them.... i want them back...i am so heartbroken, upset and let down. i don't feel like going into it anymore.. and besides who read my xanga anymore?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007I'm Movement By Myself...
but I'm a force when we're together.....omg so I am like in LOVE with that new FABOLOUS song Make Me Better ft Ne-Yo, forreal that beat is amazing. I mean I like Fab anyways, but this is just a really good song... I like it as much as I like Breathe, and that was my song for a hottttttt ass minute. Diamonds was aight especially the version with Weezie, but Make Me Better, is just the ish. I am just pissed that the cd ain't coming out til June 12 or some shit like that.
I also like that T Pain Buy You a Drank which is disappointing, because he is soo southern. There is something about the song though. I think its the beat cause its just soo springy.. idk I can't explain it. Maybe that is what it is, it is just one of those Springy songs and has that appeal, which again is disappointing but I really like it... as a matter of fact its like always in my head (that is another good song, because India Arie is cool like that).
My goal is to find that movie with Treach in it... Love and a Bullet, because I would really like to watch the unedited version. I can't stand when they bleep words, and well remove parts of movies due to whatever reasons, time, content, etc etc.
My neck is killing me, I guess I must of been my sleeping position last night. What I need is a massage, my own personal person to dead them knots in my upper back and neck.
I was sleeping til soooo late today like noon. I am probably gonna do that tonight/day too. House is also on later today. SO EXCITED, and there is only a few things that I get HYPED like that about. Foreman is my love and well he can't leave and around this time last year he almost died. I think they do this to his character on purpose which is kind of fruity.
I am tired now. First a word of advice... never let someone you LOVE escape your grasp, because they may not come back for you to let them know those feelings...only because I have lost people I have loved, and I can never show them that again, because they left me...forever..plus there are fellas I have had strong feelings for, and I have let them go over stupidity... I can only hope that this one will see one day what I see in him...
Sunday, May 13, 2007school...
Well first let me say happy mama's day to all them moms out there. Even though you should be respected everyday of your life and your family members lives, its just today is another one of those commerical holidays... but anyways have a good "mothers day"
Second school is out for me for a while.. yay... I did amazingly GOOD...
Black Experience in American A
Black Social Political Develop AKA Black Resistance A
Afromusicology A
Comp Sci: Intro to Comp and Appls. C+ (the reason for this is the devil called TRUE BASIC).
Sem GPA 3.6 (wow i wish i got an A in the CS class cause i would had a 4.0) CUM GPA 2.57 (ughh need to bring that uppp) and I have 75 credits. I am going towards the end of the journey called college....
School starts up again May 29 for me.. hmmm Summer Session my favorite (what sarcasim i have in my voice/mind at the moment... well actually summer session is type easy so i guess i cant complain).
Well adventures of summer begin.... work, class, going out.... how fun it shall be... except for precalc... as it will be the death of me.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006bored and found some poems i wrote for my creative writing class 212... these two poems are copies of very early drafts of them both.. ill post more when i find more.. or when i get my other just on this new comp.
The 19th year
Happy Birthday, back tracking to years
before blasting "Memory Lane". Those
were the days, walking to school, wearing
that hideous catholic school uniform.
Happy Birthday, damn thats all I heard.
My one friend would announce that every
single year. Once in the morning, once at
lunch and once at the end of the day. It's all i heard.
Happy Birthday, yes indeed, greetings from all
Balloons, and gifts in my hand all day. More
stuff at home. Gifts galor, and it wasn't even
the day of the party. Preparations was taking place though.
Happy Birthday, be going to Nu Flava Kutz with a friend.
Then to watch the lastest movie at the mall.
While ma was at home getting stuff together for
my weekend party. Everything had to be perfect for baby girl.
Happy Birthday, party day was here. Still chilling
on the block while ma got everything for the party.
Few people there, but I was still all over Chilltown
getting everyone else I knew to my house.
Happy Birthday, ice cream and yellow cake with
chocolate filling and icing. That's the only way I'd have it.
Before that would be Fried Chicken, some kind of
pasta, and a pizza, had to cater to my guest taste.
Happy Birthday, that day was so fun. Not anymore
I hear Decemeber 7 and my face cringes. That day again.
Just not what it used to be. No more dance-off's or friends
over, not even that delicious chocolate cake.
Happy Birthday, I am stuck here, with not a damn thing.
My people ain't here with me. I can't go with them to Uno's
to see my eye candy. Can't even be on Westside and Lexington.
Damn that was my place since forever, but not no more.
Happy Birthday, with dreams of being younger; but my
mind fixed on being grown. I am lost somewhere between
ending these teen years to wanting to be on my own.
My goal is to get there.
Happy Birthday, no longer so fun, just another day, another
year of my life past. 17 years so bright and exciting. That
was the year, but 19 years is what I am today, how shocking.
Last year how terrible, well forget it D it been done.
"Taken"
He thought he was fly
sporting that Jesus piece.
Caramel complexion, cute lookin
face and cornrows just right.
Playa had it going on
seemed like a up-front dude.
But little did shorty know
the brother was up to no good.
The man was playin
out shorties interested in him.
Not even thinking twice
bout who could be wifey.
But who could forget
duke was not real.
The only thing he could control
was his man–damn he was pussy whipped forreal.
Or shall I say deprived of pussy,
nah he really couldn’t be.
Tragic story about the
shorty who was checkin sons style.
Son took her how he wanted
and did not do her nice.
Left the shorty dyin
just cause of one stupid night.
The girl had no control
and he just ripped her soul.
Piece by piece, hour by hour
til his rocks got off.
She just sat there and cried
no compassion was given.
Her life was changed
for that moment on.
She will always remember
the fly looking brother.
Who took what he wanted
without thinking twice.
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